International Trainer and Speaker

The day I become a CouchSurfer was probably the most soul-fulfilling day of my life. I was after all, a rather social person and enjoy meeting people from all walks of life. I have travelled a lot over the last 20 years, to train and to give talks in various parts of the world. And prior to being a Cser, I was merely staying in hotels and had post-workshop drinks with participants who attended my talks.

Over drinks, I would discuss the latest marketing trends or techniques of persuasion and presentation skills with them. Those who felt more comfortable opening up about their personal lives always tell me about their family and their job struggles. But as far as the sharing of ideas and cultures go, that’s as good as it got.

I’ve been to Romania, Slovakia, Austria, the US, Canada, Hungary, the Netherlands, Mexico and throughout SE Asia, yet I’d never really understood what makes people tick in these countries.

I flew in, delivered my talk, made friends then left for my next destination. Those people that i met briefly made it to my Facebook friends, or to part of a Youtube video or a picture together, but I never really got to understand their cultural nuances… the environment that they live in… the challenges that they face.

It was all too brief and ‘surface-level’ as circumstances would have it, to afford any genuine and long-lasting connection and sharing.

Then, I found out about CouchSurfing. Instead of staying in hotels like I always would, I was staying in the homes of the most generous and kindest souls in the world. The accommodation didn’t matter-whether my sleeping arrangements involved a bed or just a couch in wherever the host’s flat or mansion might be, I was almost guaranteed the most interesting and enlightening time of my life.

It wasn’t about the roof over my head, it was about the people that I’d meet. I can spend a night watching CNN on a Hotel TV and eating a club sandwich and drinking one beer from a mini-bar, but being with real people makes the experience real.

Beer poured by a local in a pub with smoke-filled mirrors, ageing permanent fixtures who have been drinking there for 50 years. Wines dragged out of the cellar to celebrate the arrival of an international guest – that one bottle that has been waiting for just the right special occasion.

Living with local people just for a few days teaches me so much more than watching a National Geographic documentary or reading a Lonely Planet guidebook would ever will.

I have spent time this year with an artist in her studio in Kuala Lumpur and a trapeze-flying acrobat in Sydney, eaten satay and having beers with a Malaysian cruise ship crew trainer who declare no country home, got lost in Chinatown in Bangkok with a Psychologist, and sat on the balcony in Mt Coolum drinking white wine as mosquitoes ate me alive, while I heard about travelling on trains in China.

My world in the last 5 years has grown immensely richer and my travelling experiences have begun to gain depth. I am suddenly graduating from the real Crash Course in Culture with flying colours.

Surfing and Hosting are the two sides of the CS project.

Nothing beats the experience that I’m having now.

2 weeks ago, I moved to a new place in Port Melbourne. It is a small apartment in a low-rise block about 10 minutes walk from the beach. At last, I finally have a more permanent space to provide a roof for travellers and sure enough, requests began to trickle in, and then flood in when I changed the option from ‘Sorry, travelling’ to ‘YES, I have a couch!’

I had Spanish and Venezualan adventurers, English hitchhikers, Lithuanian Students, Italian lovers, an American Market Researcher and an Austrian hard trance/dance Biochemists and I know soon … another diverse mix of nationalities.When you have 6 people in your house, plus you, taking up every square cm of space…  humming, talking over each other in different accents, laughing, singing, cooking, and at the end of the night- sleeping, the dynamics of the house changes.

You realize that you are a part of a big wide world.

As a host, the commitment to provide a bed, a blanket, local information and just your presence is extremely rewarding. The overwhelming sense of selfless contribution – providing for and nurturing  strangers who are in need at this stage of their journey around the country, or around the world.

You may not believe it, but there is a ten-fold return of investment. In return, you get to learn about these travellers, guests, new friends, their secrets and their lives from far flung lands, their cultural idiosyncrasies, their local delicacies (especially when they cook for you – something I insist on) and live vicariously through their adventures. If you can’t get out into the world, bring the world to your doorstep. It is better than watching a movie – because it’s a present-time biography of a life or lives of people sitting in front of you.

Little things make a big difference. I’m not giving away huge chunks of money to every charity or investing time to volunteer in high need communities in Africa. I am, however, helping and making a difference to each and every person who has come to sleep on my couch or the mattress on the floor by simply being of service to them: providing a roof, a meal, a shower,  and some space for them to return to being themselves in a welcoming home for a few days or for a week. I open my house to these travellers, providing them a home away from their home. They usually go to their next destination, energized and rejuvenated.

And we both benefit from the interaction at an emotional and metaphysical level.

Being a Couch Surfing host may perhaps be a small act in the grand scheme of giving but that alone is still immensely gratifying and rich with intensely profound experiences from day to day.